Tidying up my home office is a constant work in progress. Partly due to all the books I own, but also all the writing I’ve done over the years. Even after the advent of home computers, I still tend to scribble and take notes manually – pen and paper. It all tends to add up over time.
Against one wall, next to a couple of filing cabinets, is an old milk crate that is full of things I wrote as a teenager and in my early 20s. Legal pads, loose sheets of paper, a couple of spiral notebooks – all filled with poetic angst and dreams of the future. I haven’t looked at these in ages, so I sat on the floor and thumbed through them, sneezing occasionally at the dust that’s accumulated over the years.
These words from the past are like a time capsule of my past. Reading through these poems and scraps of story ideas was like opening doors to places in my memory that had been closed for a very long time. Things came rushing back to me – faces I’d forgotten, feelings of sadness and joy, lonely nights, sunny days. It was a bit overwhelming.
Time passed quickly. An hour or so went by before I snapped out of my reverie. I felt…odd. Not sad. Not happy. Maybe it was melancholy. Thinking back to how I was, who I was, and realizing how much I’ve changed was a rollercoaster ride.
At some point, I should probably scan all these pages, but there’s something about having the physical paper to hold and read that I don’t want to let go of. It’s all part of my past, part of me, and converting it all to a digital format feels like it would lessen the connection I have with these words.
What about you? Do you have scraps of things from your past – words, drawings, art – that you still hold on to?
RB
Oh, I hold on to way too much. You’re right, there seems to be a power in the originals that feels lost when making a digital copy.
I’m slowly trying to pare back what I have saved (do I really need all the birthday cards I saved from my 13th birthday?) so that my kids don’t have to deal with it someday.
It’s nice to know I’m not the only one! And I’m sure your kids will appreciate the downsizing, but then again, they may find it interesting to read those old cards and messages. 🙂
Some of the notes I saved from high school I’m glad I discovered before they do, lol.
🤣
Wow… what a nostalgic trip that must have been! There is definitely a unique vibe to rediscovering your own history like that. I still hold onto my own diaries and notes from school—though many were lost over the years, I’m clutching onto the ones that remain just as tightly.✨
Don’t worry about scanning them; I actually think a digital backup might intensify that bond rather than lessen it! It makes them accessible anywhere and protects those memories from dust, moisture, or time.❤️
I would love to read a few snippets if you’re ever comfortable sharing them here—I’d love to “meet” the younger Richard! If not publicly, I’d be honored to read them via email. Wishing you an awesome week ahead! 😇🤝
I appreciate the encouragement, Aparna. I may take the digital route at some point, but it’s going to be a long project…there are a lot of pages in this crate! 🙂
I might share a few snippets at some point. I found a few poems I was quite proud to have written back then, but there’s also quite a bit of “what was I thinking?” in there. 🤣
Best wishes to you, my friend!
I have one book I created in my high school drama class that I absolutely cherish. There are precious few notebooks I’ve been able to keep throughout the years….a blessing and a curse.
At least you have some of them, and that’s better than none at all. I hope they still inspire you.
Indeed some are a comfort.
Just the other day I thought about my old two-ring notebook (holes punched at the top). It contained dozens of sketches of sports cars that I imagined and wished I could have built. I don’t remember what happened to it. I’m afraid it may have gotten caught up in one of my radical downsizing episodes that occasionally occur. Lately, I’ve become more careful with housecleaning.
Oh, I hope you can find it again, Swabby. Perhaps it’s just at the bottom of a box in the back of a closet. Hidden treasure.
But if not, at least you remember it. And who knows? Maybe you’ll be inspired to start another notebook of car sketches.
Thanks. I hope you’re right.
Not perse, but occasionally I find some partially filled notebooks from years past.
I think writers tend to have a few stashed away that we forget about, then later find them like buried treasure. 🙂
take photos of it will be a gift to you and you loved ones who will have to move all those stacks of paper. I say this because my father was a writer who collected news clips, tons of yellow legal pads and pens. I had to have two different fire pit rituals to get say good bye to all of it.
i didn’t inherit the writing skills…
I know, I really should digitize it all. Sometimes it’s tough to let go of physical things. Some weird quirk in the brain. 🙂
Perhaps a ritual would make it easier. 🙂
I have art and writings that date back to 7 years old. Looking back at and reconnecting with the favourite colours I used in junior school has informed my new choices I make today, while some of my poems I wrote make me squirm but I still keep all the handwritten originals even although I have taped them up and have them in a computer file. I find when I look back at my younger self it’s both sacred and disorienting. It’s a strange feeling. Great share thank you.
Oh, that’s amazing, Morag, especially that you still refer back to those early items for inspiration.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I’m glad you connected with it.
You are welcome 👌
I’ve hung onto all kinds of things over the decades. Much of this collection is packed in boxes. I almost never look at the stuff, but I don’t like the idea of tossing some or most of it away.
Funny how we get this attachment to things that we don’t even look at or use. I guess it’s more of an emotional connection with have with them.
Thanks for stopping by!
No, I tend to be pretty ruthless which is why my younger sister is the holder of all family memorabilia. On the other hand my OH can hardly bear to be parted from anything………….
I can definitely relate to your OH on this!
Thanks Richard
Hah, what a trip that would be!
I actually have pretty much nothing from my past, other than memories. It was a pretty impulsive decision I made to throw everything away. Which I partly regret and partly am relieved about.
Melancholy is probably a good word to describe these memories of the past. Such a mixed bag of emotions that it just ends up make you feel empty. Strange, that is.
But I have iCloud and therefore all my older doodles. And I am bit emberrased by them 🤭 but it also shows I have learned a few new skills along the way !
Good post! Probably will take me on a walk down memory lane. But I’ll just the fun memories today 😉
Many thanks, Andrea! I know I need to get started scanning or photographing all these pages, clear the clutter. Digitizing it all would also make my partner very, very happy. 🙂
And I agree, it’s sort of fun to see how our output has changed over the years.