July, 2021 | RichardBist.com

What if it Sucks? [Creativity]

We all wonder this. Anyone who creates anything has this thought every once in a while. I do, as well. I have an idea that I’m excited about, I work on it, maybe a first draft, maybe two. Then that self-doubt creeps in. Is this any good? Will anyone read it? Like it? Tell their friends? Leave a good review?

It can be a downward spiral from there. What’s the point if no one is going to like this story, or even read it? Am I just writing into a void? Should I give up and do something else?

As creators, this type of thinking can kill our motivation. It leads us down a dark path where we get lost amid all the questions, doubts, and fears.

Some of us have it worse than others. It depends on the amount of self-confidence you already have in play, coupled with how much support you receive, and how people have reacted to your previous output. We’re human, we can’t help it. Our brains are both our biggest ally and our greatest enemy.

If you’ve listened to my podcast, you might already know how I feel about this. The problem, in my opinion, is that we put too much emphasis on what other people think of us and our work. We gauge success and failure by other people’s reactions. We base our self worth as artists, even as people, on whether or not something likes our output. We even compare ourselves to our peers. Am I doing better than them? Then I’m successful. Are they doing better than me? Then I’ve failed.

That’s bullshit thinking.

The ONLY person whose opinion you need to worry about it your own. That’s it.

Is this something you would enjoy reading, viewing, or listening to? If yes, then you’re successful. That’s all there is to it. Don’t worry if other people think it sucks. Whatever they may feel or think about it doesn’t really matter. It’s not a fact, it’s their opinion. Art, like humor, is subjective. I may laugh at something that you don’t find funny, just like you may love a book that I found boring. And remember, opinions are like assholes…everybody has one.

This all stems from a recent online conversation I had with someone about a story they’re working on. They wanted to give up because someone else, a friend of theirs, read an early draft and said it sucked. Based solely on that opinion, this writer was ready to give up, chuck it all away and move on to something else.

Luckily, I was able to talk them off the ledge. I basically told them what I wrote above and I reiterated one of my mantras: Write for yourself. Yes, I know, we all want an audience of faithful readers who hang on our every word. The truth is, that may never happen. There are hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of writers out there writing stories they hope will get noticed. Some will, some won’t, but in the end it doesn’t matter if the writers are doing it for themselves. As long as you’re writing something that appeals to you, that you’d pick up in a bookstore and read, then you’ve won.

Writing is a lonely profession. We do it alone, just us and our imaginations, and sometimes we really need the validation of someone else to motivate and inspire us. I get it. I’m the same way. But you shouldn’t base your worth as a writer, or as a person, on what other people think. Make yourself happy, first. A happy writer is a good writer. A good writer will find an audience. Just be patient.

Category: Creativity, Influences, Mental Health, Personal, Podcasting, Publishing, Writing | LEAVE A COMMENT

July 27

Carnivorous Plant Update [Nature]

It was ridiculously dry here in North Florida this past spring. We’ve gone for weeks without a single drop. At least at my house. My partner and I have watched storm fronts plowing their way towards our location, only to see them dissipate or break around us. We joke that someone built a dome over our part of town. I blame Mr. Burns.

But Tropical Storm Claudette seems to have broken the dry streak. She made landfall hours to the west of here a month or so ago, but the majority of the rain was on the east side of the storm (as it is with most tropical systems) and we finally got some rain. And then every single day. My yard is transforming into a jungle.

Which is great. Especially for my carnivorous plants. My big pitcher plants were in rough shape and my smaller plants – flytraps, sundews, and small pitchers – were struggling. Even my rain barrel was bone dry. I was getting desperate.

A bit of rainfall made a huge difference. The big plants are still recovering, but the small ones are thriving.

I think my little shop of horrors is going to be damp and happy for the foreseeable future. In fact, I’m so happy about their recovery I thought I’d share some recent photos of my little shop of horrors.

Flytraps

I picked up a new flytrap last year from California Carnivores and he (or she?) is doing great. Lush and green and gobbling up little insects. The brown traps are ones that are used up. Meaning, they’ve caught at least one insect, no more than two, and now the plant discards the trap and develops new ones.

But what I’m most happy about is this little one on the right side of the screen. I’ve had this flytrap for over five years, but this past spring was especially rough on it. I thought it had died off, but I left the pot alone because I still had hope. Carnivorous plants, although somewhat difficult to take care of, can also be surprisingly resilient.

And I wasn’t disappointed. About two weeks ago I noticed a tiny bit of green poking up through the moss. Now it looks like it’s on the way to a full recovery!

Pitchers

These guys are my small Nepenthes and Sarracenia pitchers. Both are new additions to my patio. These guys grow low on the ground in the wild. I have them because I love the colors and patterns on the pitchers.

The one on the left, with the companion sundew, will have to be transplanted once the weather cools. Winter dormancy is the time to uproot them or take cuttings. The sundew was a bonus. I had ordered the pitcher, but the sundew suddenly appeared and almost took over the pot.

This one has beautiful coloring and, judging from the dead/dying pitchers, has been eating well. In fact, if you check out the second photo you’ll see a recent victim.

I have a few more members of the ensemble, but I’ll save them for the next post. I hope you enjoyed seeing these unique plants. Remember, carnivorous plants are protected, so please don’t dig them up if you find them in the wild. If you’re interested in adding a few to your garden, please do your research first and buy from a reputable dealer.

If you have any questions or comments, you can post them below.

Category: Gardening, Nature, Personal | 2 Comments

July 20

Music Moment – Year of the Cat [Music]

If you’ve read a few of my other Music Moment posts, you know that I love story songs. You know, where the lyrics meld with the music to tell a story. Most songs are about conveying a feeling, an emotion, or setting a mood, which is fine, but I guess it’s the storyteller in me that likes the lyrics to take me on a journey.

“Year of the Cat” is one of those songs. Originally released by Al Stewart in 1976, this song immediately captured my attention. The arrangement begins slow and dreamy, then gently leads into the lyrics.

I think one of the reasons, or perhaps the main reason, the lyrics strike a chord with me is because they remind me of one of my favorite movies, Casablanca. The setting for the song feels like it takes place in someplace like Morocco or Tunisia. I always picture white buildings with brightly painted doors and stalls lining the narrow streets. It also helps that the lyrics actually reference Bogart and Lorre, who both starred in the movie.

The basic story is a man, a tourist, who gets lost in this strange city and meets a beautiful local woman who whisks him away on an adventure. He falls in love with her knowing that he can’t stay forever, but despite that, he plans to make the most of the time they spend together.

Lyrically, Stewart has a poetic flair. His descriptions of the setting, the woman, the way the man feels as this person leads him through the mystical nightlife and back alleys of the city, all weave together to beautifully. Even without the music, the lyrics stand up quite nicely on their own.

Musically, the song is a great mix of soft acoustics and, later, a driving guitar solo. But even though the song slowly builds to a crescendo, it quickly returns to a soft flow on the notes of a saxophone.

I’ve included the lyrics here and a link to the song below. I hope you give it a listen and find it just a magical, and mysterious, as I do. For what it’s worth, this song gives me chills every time I listen to it.

On a morning from a Bogart movie
In a country where they turn back time
You go strolling through the crowd like Peter Lorre
Contemplating a crime
She comes out of the sun in a silk dress running
Like a watercolor in the rain
Don’t bother asking for explanations
She’ll just tell you that she came
In the year of the cat

She doesn’t give you time for questions
As she locks up your arm in hers
And you follow ’till your sense of which direction
Completely disappears
By the blue tiled walls near the market stalls
There’s a hidden door she leads you to
These days, she says, I feel my life
Just like a river running through
The year of the cat

While she looks at you so cooly
And her eyes shine like the moon in the sea
She comes in incense and patchouli
So you take her, to find what’s waiting inside
The year of the cat

Well morning comes and you’re still with her
And the bus and the tourists are gone
And you’ve thrown away your choice you’ve lost your ticket
So you have to stay on
But the drum-beat strains of the night remain
In the rhythm of the newborn day
You know sometime you’re bound to leave her
But for now you’re going to stay
In the year of the cat

Note: YouTube is being finicky with the embedding permissions, so you may have to watch the video on YouTube.

Category: Creativity, Music, Personal, Poetry, YouTube | 1 Comment

July 16

Book Review – Buddhism Without Beliefs [Books]

I’ve been a follower of Buddhist philosophy for over twenty-five years. Not the religious aspect of it. I can do without that. But the philosophy behind it, the way to look at life, at the people around me, my perception of my world, that all appeals to me. And although I’m far from perfect, I try to adhere to the Four Noble Truths and Eightfold Path as best I can.I’ve read quite a few books about Buddhism, as well. Of course, they’ve all been written from a religious angle. So when I’ve worked on educating myself, I’ve had to focus on the rational points and read the spiritual more like mythology. What I’ve been looking for is a book that doesn’t denigrate the religion, but would allow me to better understand the real teachings, the words the Buddha taught without filter and interpretation.

Luckily, I stumbled upon Buddhism Without Beliefs by Stephen Batchelor. Here I found what I’d been looking for, a simple deconstruction of Buddhism with a focus on the philosophy.

At a simple 115 pages (plus a few more covering sources), Batchelor argues that the Buddha never set out to create a religion. Instead, he simply wanted to help people better themselves and the world around them through a handful of basic tenets. No gods or goddesses, no spirituality, just a focus on understanding how we can improve ourselves mentally and better adapt to the world around us.

I posted earlier this week about a line from the book that resonated with me, and that was only one of dozens that stuck with me.

Batchelor, a practicing Buddhist, trained in monasteries and has been teaching for decades. I found his insight to be extraordinary. He gently, and without denigration, breaks down the how’s and why’s of Buddhist teachings, stripping away the religious aspects to reveal a simple and easily understood path to understanding ourselves.

Even if you aren’t religious, or are a following of a specific dogma, Buddhism Without Beliefs can still have something for you. Outside of meditation and practice, there is a lot of practical points that can help you to calm your inner turmoil, help you understand your actions and reactions, and maybe even bring you some peace of mind.

I highly recommend this book. Like I mentioned above, it’s a quick read, but even so, there’s a lot to unpack. Give it a try and see what speaks to you. You have nothing to lose, but so much to gain.

“So what are we but the story we keep repeating, editing, consoling, and embellishing in our heads?” – Stephen Batchelor

Category: Books, Creativity, Influences, Mental Health, Personal | LEAVE A COMMENT

July 12

A Little Motivation [Creativity]

“Commitment to the most worthy purpose is of little value if we lack confidence in our ability to realize it.”

– Stephen Batchelor, Buddhism Without Beliefs

I’ve been reading the aforementioned book the past few days, and this line stuck out to me. I read it several times because it resonated and made me think about my commitment to writing fiction.

I think one thing that many writers struggle with is confidence. Not just with themselves and their ability to tell a good story, but also confidence in the stories themselves, the characters we create, the plots and dialogue. There’s always that little voice in the back of our heads whispering, “Are you sure?”.

I’ve been writing a long time, probably close to forty years. I’ve written a lot of stories, some good and some bad, but regardless of the outcomes I continue to do it. Out of, say, one-hundred stories, maybe twenty or thirty were what I would consider good. The rest, well, I’ve categorized them as practice pieces.

And yet, I still doubt myself and my abilities. Why? Hard to say for sure, but there are arguably several reasons. First and foremost, I didn’t get much support for my writing until I was in my late twenties. Mostly I was told it was a cute hobby and that I should focus on something real so I can set my sights on a ‘real’ job. Either that, or my creative output was ignored.

Despite that lack of support, I continued to write. Doubt was always there, looking over my shoulder, whispering in my ear, but I persevered. The stories and poems were in my head, and I transferred them to the page. Even when I felt no one cared and that I was writing in a vacuum, I kept at it.

Why? Because I was committed to it. I love to write, I love to tell stories, to paint pictures with words. The thing that helped the most was when I decided that I was going to write for myself. What I mean is, I decided to stop worrying about what others thought, or if they even cared, and wrote things that I wanted to read.

That the reason my stories cross genres. My reading preferences are all over the place – fiction, non-fiction, weird fiction, speculative, horror, fantasy, cyberpunk, literary, historical – and in turn that influences my writing.

Once I realized I didn’t have to receive acknowledgement from others I found a new sense of freedom in writing. I became more confident. Sure, there’s still that whisper in my ear, but now I ignore it, swat it away and focus on the page in front of me.

It doesn’t matter where you are with your creativity. Doesn’t matter if you’re a writer, a painter, a songwriter. We’re all going to doubt ourselves, some more than others, but we can’t let it stop us. We have to stay committed, focused, and continue to do what we love. That’s all that matters. Doing something you love.

When you think about giving up, tossing your laptop in the trash, going back to binge-watching something on television, remember this: you don’t have to listen to that negative voice in your head. You have one lifetime, a handful of decades, to enjoy yourself, so why not do the things you love? Be creative, be silly, experiment, try new things.

Don’t let doubt stop you from expressing yourself. Be committed to your creativity.

Category: Books, Creativity, Mental Health, Music, Painting, Personal, Poetry, Writing | LEAVE A COMMENT

July 9

Sunday Roast Chicken [Cooking]

Cooking a chicken on Sunday is a tradition in my house. It’s part of my meal prep for the week. Once or twice a month I cook a whole chicken, then shred it and store it in smaller freezer bags so I can use it throughout the week. Some makes it into lunches, some ends up in our dinner. I think it’s a great way to prepare for easy meals and it saves time on workdays.

Sure, it would probably be easier to run down to the grocery store and pick up a rotisserie chicken from the deli, but there are two reasons I don’t. First, I like to mix up the seasonings and the cooking method so the chicken is a little different every time. And second, the grocery store rotisserie chickens are made from the expiring chickens in the meat department. Let’s just say I’ve had a bad experience there.

I switch between two different methods when I cook a whole chicken. One is to prepare it in the slow cooker. It takes a little longer (approximately four hours) and the skin doesn’t get crispy, but the meat is always tender and moist. I’ll share that method in an upcoming post.

This week, however, I used the other method – oven roasting. Prepping takes less than ten minutes and the bird is usually done in about ninety minutes. Plus, easy clean up because I only use one pan. Well, more like a cast iron skillet. I like simplicity.

So here’s how it’s done.

Move the oven rack down a notch from center (so you have room for the pan and bird) and preheat to 450F.

Next, remove any giblets from the chicken and place the bird in a pan or cast iron skillet. This one is just under four pounds and apparently has a broken wing (I tried to tuck it under, but, well, you can see the sad result).

I also washed some small potatoes and grabbed a handful of basil from the patio. I love using fresh herbs when roasting a chicken. It imbues so much flavor without being as overpowering as spices.

Speaking of spices, I used just a few. Some salt, pepper, a pinch of garlic powder, and a bit of turmeric.

After I diced up the potatoes and added them to the pan with the chicken, I tossed some of the spices, along with the basil, inside the chicken, the dusted the rest over the outside of the bird and over the potatoes. Along with some olive oil. Almost forgot to mention that.

Once it’s all ready, slide the chicken into the oven, then immediate drop the temperature to 375F. This will help to give the skin a little sizzle and get things off to a good start. Rule of thumb: cook chicken approximately 20 minutes per pound. My oven heats a little low, so I went for 90 minutes.

While waiting on the chicken, I tossed the giblets (a neck, two livers, two hearts, and a gizzard – because why not two of almost everything?) in a pan with a tiny pinch of salt, then covered it in water. I put it on high to boil, then cut the heat and put a lid on the pan. That allowed it to steep. About twenty minutes later I pulled them out, chopped them up, then used the meaty bits and broth to put on my dog’s food for the next few days. Yeah, I’m a spoiler.

After 90 minutes, the bird and potatoes were done and looking good!

The potatoes cook in all that tasty rendered chicken fat and turn out somewhere between crispy and gummy. So good! I ended up shredding the bird and splitting it up into several small storage bags for the freezer. It’s so easy to pull one out, defrost it, and toss the meat into everything – salads, stir-fries, soup – or mix up a quick chicken salad.

Hope this inspires you to try something new. Enjoy!

Category: Cooking, Creativity | LEAVE A COMMENT

July 7

Book Review – The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch [Books]

Philip K. Dick is one of the founders of modern science fiction. I see him as a writer who straddled the line between the old guard – Asimov, Clarke, Heinlein – and the new school. He, along with writers like Harlan Ellison, ushered in a deeper and more surreal aspect to the genre.

If you aren’t familiar with his work, Dick focused a lot of attention on the human psyche, the question of what’s real and what’s illusion, as well as the impact of drugs and religion on how we interpret the world.

I’ve read a few of his other works and loved Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?. But the thing is, while he was helping to change the landscape of science fiction, he still wrote like his predecessors. What I mean is, he focused more on the ideas than he did on the narrative.

Not that it’s a bad thing. Ideas, good ones, can carry the story. With The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch, the ideas are so fascinating that I could overlook the storytelling and somewhat dated portrayals of women.

The basic plot is that in the future, Earth is overheating and the world governing body is drafting ‘volunteers’ to colonize other plants and moons in the solar system. Because the environments are so hostile, most of the colonists are addicted to a drug that lets them inhabit the bodies of some fictional characters as if they were back home. The addicts have turned their experiences into a religion.

Enter Palmer Eldritch, how has returned from a ten year journey to Proxima with a new drug that will replace the old one. This sparks a war with the manufacturer of the current drug. It also starts a debate on whether or not Eldritch is still himself or someone, or something, different.

Mixed into all this is an examination of reality – what is real and how do we know for sure? Religion – how do we determine what to worship and is it really good for us? And the human condition – what are we capable of and how far will we go to achieve our goals?

As I noted above, the narrative is dated and far from poetic, but the ideas themselves are worth the read. Dick was obsessed with reality, identity, and the workings of the mind. If you’ve read any of his other fiction you’ll know what I mean. It’s apparent in just about everything he’s written.

Also, the story was nominated for a Nebula award in 1965 for Best Novel.

I feel this novel is on par with Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, although not quite as well written. If you enjoy classic science fiction and stories that focus on ideas, then you should pick up a copy of this book. It’ll have you thinking long after the last page.

Category: Books, Creativity, Influences, Publishing | LEAVE A COMMENT

July 2

What’s the Best Writing Tool? [Writing]

This is one of those topics that can be contentious. There are so many tools available to the modern writer that it can be overwhelming. I can’t promise you that I’ll answer all your questions. However, I think I can provide you with some valid options and, hopefully, help you make an informed decision.

First, when I refer to writing tools, I mean things that help the writer get a story from their head onto the page. Also, I’m not necessary endorsing any particular tool. I’ll cover the ones I’ve used over the years and offer suggestions based on my experience.

Pencils and Pens

Why not start off with a nod to old school writing tools? There’s something to be said for writing the way writers used to do it. To me, writing on paper with a pen or pencil is more organic. It makes me feel like Hemingway or Faulkner and that I should be sitting in a cafe somewhere sipping Cuban coffee.

I also feel more connected to the words on the page when I write freehand. Sure, my hand gets tired much faster than my fingers so when typing, but that doesn’t deter me. If you’ve never written this way I suggest you give it a try. I doubt it’s going to change your life, or your preferred mode of writing, but I think you’ll find it fun and engaging.

Audio Recording

No, that’s not a typo. I’ve read of several authors who never put pen to paper. Instead, they carry a tape recorder or digital voice recorder and simply narrate their story. Later, they’ll either transcribe it themselves – typing it into their computer – or have an assistant do it. Once it’s on the PC (or Mac), they can edit to their heart’s content.

I’ve never tried this, but it sounds interesting. I know that I often work out stories in my head while I’m doing something like taking a walk with the dogs or fiddling about in the backyard. In a way, it’s sort of like telling myself the story. So it makes sense that I could carry a voice recorder with me and talk it out stream-of-consciousness style.

My only concern would be the neighbors thinking I’m weirder than they already do.

Also, keep in mind that most smartphones and tablets come with voice recorders built in. All you have to do is transcribe it later. Or pay someone to do it for you.

Computer Software

Honestly, there are far too many writing software options out there for me to adequately cover them all. However, I will tell you about a few that I use, and have used, and what I think about them.

Obviously, there’s Microsoft Word and Apple Pages. Both are fully-capable word processors and both are free (Pages comes free with most Apple devices; Word has paid versions and a free online version). I tend to use Pages more since I write on a MacBook, but I’ve used Word almost as much in office settings.

I think they both have their pros and cons, but for fiction writing I really don’t like to use either one. I find them to offer too many options and sometimes dealing with formatting can be a pain in the ass. When something on the page doesn’t line up correctly I end up spending WAY too much time trying to figure it out.

One of the nicer, all-purpose writing programs is Scrivener. It’s not your ordinary word processor. It’s incredibly robust and designed to be used by writers. Scrivener comes with templates for novels, short stories, scripts, and even poetry, and it’s a great tool for formatting ebooks.

However, much like Word and Pages, I find it distracting to write with when I’m working on early drafts. Again, too many options, too many bells and whistles. I often use it towards the end of my writing arc, for laying out short story collections and getting my work ready for print. I’ve been using it for years and recommend that every writer have a copy of this software on their hard drive.

Probably my favorite writing program is called FocusWriter. This is my go-to for first drafts, second drafts, everything up to the final. It’s an incredibly clean interface and you can set it so there are no distractions, no tool bars, no buttons, no pop-ups. Just you and the blank screen.

The other cool thing is that it has some simple customizations to help make your writing experience more engaging. For example, it offers a couple of different themes for the screen. I use the solid black with green font color…sort of like an old computer monitor. It also keeps track of your word count and has a spell checker.

The best part, however, is that you can set daily goals for yourself. You can set it for minutes or number of words, and the program will tell you when you hit that goal each day. I use this when I feel I’m slipping out of my routine and it helps to keep me on track.

Oh, and the very best part…FocusWriter is open-source, so it’s free (although I encourage you to make a donation to the developer).

There You Have It

Every writer has their preference when it comes to their writing tools. But I think it’s important for us to try new things every so often. It helps to keep us from getting complacent. Or bored.

For me, I use a variety of tools. I think of writing like other manual labor jobs, like construction. You have certain tools for certain jobs. I use pencil and paper when writing poetry, Word or Pages for business writing, and FocusWriter and Scrivener for fiction.

The change of scenery will do you good. Try a new tool every so often and see how it affects your writing.

Category: Creativity, Personal, Poetry, Publishing, Writing | LEAVE A COMMENT